I Am Not A Doll

Billie asked, What was I made for?

I am not a doll
you can play with.

I don’t come with
perfect boobs,
a designer bag,
and bouncy hair.

I am not a toy you can play with 
on a Thursday night
and drop on Friday afternoon
when you get bored.

I am not plastic.
I am a real person,
with a real heart.

Yes, I am fun,
I can be sexy,
I can let go,
be easy going.

But I am so much more.

How you see me
is different 
than how I see myself.

I was waiting for you
to peel back the layers.

I can also be messy,
emotional,
insecure,
deep.

You reduced me
to something you could pick up
whenever you wanted.
A doll dressed in glitz and glamour,
without time to uncover what’s underneath.

You took what you liked
the smile,
the dreams,
the passion,
and ignored what you were 
too afraid to see.

I am a person with depth.
A full, complex human being.

You didn’t want to meet me
at my fullest,
my whole self,
the parts that wanted something real.

Billie asked,
What was I made for?

The person you thought I was,
the person you made of me,
the fun, carefree version
was never me.

I wasn’t made for you.
I wasn’t made to be used,
and discarded.

I was never something easy.

I am not a doll.
I am someone
to get to know.